Acquainted With the Night by Erica Abbott

Author:Erica Abbott [Abbott, Erica]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction, Lesbian, Romance, Suspense, Thrillers
ISBN: 9781594934049
Google: bMFJngEACAAJ
Publisher: Bella Books, Incorporated
Published: 2014-03-24T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Thirteen

Alex stared at Elaine Wheeler and said, “I don’t understand. Are you saying that nothing has changed?”

“Not at all,” Wheeler said. “Certainly your understanding of CJ’s motive for leaving casts many of the facts in a different light. What I am suggesting to you is that not everything has necessarily changed.”

Alex shook her head.

“Let me ask you this,” Wheeler persisted gently. “How do you feel now?”

“Everything is different,” Alex said forcefully. “I’ve had three decent nights’ sleep in a row. I have energy to work, I’m even eating better. It’s like turning a corner.”

“Those are all good things,” Wheeler conceded. “But let me rephrase the question: how do you feel about CJ now?”

Alex stared at her again. “I feel the same way about her as I did before,” she said.

“How was that?”

“I love her,” Alex said angrily. “I loved her before, and I still love her.”

“Yes. And how else do you feel?”

“How else…” Alex stopped, trying to calm herself, trying to understand the emotions roiling inside of her.

Wheeler waited patiently.

“I’m still sad,” Alex finally admitted. “She’s still gone, I’m still alone. When I’m working, it’s better, but when I go home at night, she’s not there. I just miss her. I miss her singing in the kitchen, I miss talking about our day together, I miss holding her.

“And—”

“Yes?” Wheeler said encouragingly.

“I’m angry,” Alex admitted. “I’m mad she didn’t come to me, mad she couldn’t trust me with this. I understand why she left, I do, but part of me wants to scream at her for not being able to trust me to handle the situation. She just ran away. I mean, she thought she was doing the right thing, I know that, but I’m still angry at her. And damn it, I feel guilty about being mad at her. None of this was her fault and she did what she thought she had to do to protect me. I just wish she hadn’t left.”

When she ran out of words, Wheeler looked at her. “So, despite discovering the reason CJ went away, you’re lonely, angry and feeling guilty, is that about right?”

Alex sat back and gave her a wry smile. “Yes, but other than that, I’m fine.”

Wheeler returned the smile. “What do you want now?”

“What do I want? I want her back. I want to solve this, and I want the life we were making together back again. That’s what I want.”

“But you know,” Wheeler said, “all these feelings you’re having won’t just magically go away. If CJ were to walk into the room right now, you’d still have a lot to get through. And so, I imagine, would she.”

“Yes,” Alex said, half in agreement and half a question.

Wheeler continued, “You’ve been feeling very sad for a long time now. And fearful and perhaps even hopeless. And angry.”

Angry? Yes, she admitted, without even knowing where to direct her anger. At CJ? Herself? God or fate or karma? Suddenly she asked, “Do you think CJ is angry, too? At me?”

“I don’t know.

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